9.04.2009

Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones, but I'll Fucking Punch You in the Face

Tonight I witnessed something astounding. A breathtaking display that will forever be ingrained in my memory is one of sports' greatest moments. Lagarrete Blount of the U of O ducks punched some Boise State fag (Nancy Hout I think his name was) square in the chin. The Broncos may have gotten lucky on their stupid blue field (its been a longstanding tradition for football fields to be green in color) but Blount's devastating right punch was delivered with the power and technique of a UFC fighter, and with the rage of a liberal vegetarian protesting McDonalds for the way they treat their cattle. I fully support Blount's actions, and I suppose all you whiney sportsmanship blow-hards are going to want an explanation. and I use the term blow-hard in its literal definition.

In the video footage it is clear that Nancy Hout tapped Blount on the shoulder and said something of a taunting nature. Rather than "being the 'bigger man' and walking away" and following in the footsteps of many decorated French Military officers, he gave Hout a strait right to the chin, and apparently in Idaho, God makes chins out of glass. Hout went down faster then Lindsey Lohan on someone with a penis. It was such a hard shot that he fell to the Earth faster than gravity should naturally allow. But Earth's gravitational field was like "fuck you, Ducks rule lol".

My point being is that because of such strict laws and punishments against meaningless and harmless acts of violence like this, we currently live in a generation of shit talking mother fuckers who think they're the shit because their parents bought them a 92 jetta for their sixteenth birthday and they go to Jesuit. Even the Boise State fans were heckling Blount as he was being hauled away by numerous security personnel. He just dropped one of your football team's 250 pound linemen, I'd shut the fuck if I were you.

There are a lot of people in this world who think that violence in response to being verbal attacks are unjustified, immoral, and upsets the natural flow of the universe. Whatever the fuck that means. Its time for Americans to start manning up, and punching people in the face when they say things to us that are derogatory in nature. Then maybe, just maybe, countries will start fearing us again like after World War II.
People interpret the bible in many different ways. Some say that when Jesus said, "turn the other cheek" he meant to avoid retaliation to the best of your ability. What people fail to mention is the rest of the quote; "then when they least expect it, punch them in the face."

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