5.07.2010

The Most Morbid Message Ever Delivered by a Movie



The 2004 Clint Eastwood masterpiece Million Dollar Baby, despite having a name that makes it sound like a movie about high-end adoption, won a staggering four Oscars, along with 45 other lesser awards. The movie details the life of Maggie Fitzgerald (Hillary Swank), a woman who becomes a professional boxer with the reluctant help of a near fossilized Clint Eastwood, who's dialog consists mostly of incoherent mumbling. The movie is great, until you realize the overall message of this movie.

If at any point in your life you should become a paraplegic, you should just... fucking kill yourself. Fitzgerald suffers a major spinal injury at the hands of a cheap shot after the bell had rung, and she spends the final hour of the movie trying to convince Eastwood to kill her.
Clint Eastwood 01 Pictures, Images and Photos
Get off my lawn zipperhead...

I saw this movie senior year, in a writing class. The teacher also showed us the movie Mean Girls, probably just to show us that there was a time when Lindsay Lohan wasn't a crack whore. We were asked to write a journal entry on whether she was right for wanting to kill myself, and apparently half of my class was full of suicidal maniacs.

There were many arguments as to why she was correct, and the belief was widely held that Boxing was the only thing she had in her life, that she was totally right convincing Clint to commit murder and possibly spend the rest of his life in jail. You're right guys, no one has ever been a quadriplegic and gone on to lead a successful and rewarding life.
Hawking Pictures, Images and Photos
"Black holes and shit" -Stephen Hawking

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