GET A ROPE. GET A TREE. HAAANG THAT REFEREE

Every referee, in every sport, at every level, is a pathological idiot. Whether it be a volunteer team dad reffing his seven year old son's baseball game to a Norwegian bald man officiating a World Cup soccer match that decides the advancement of either Ireland or France, this is an axiom that reigns true 100 percent of the time. Allow me to explain.

Referees are humans, and humans make errors. Errors that can cost a team a championship. Errors that can crush an entire countries hope of defeating a world powerhouse. Errors that are apparent to everyone in the world on national television, but still stand. Well to quote Aristotle, I say "fuck that with a tire iron"

I have two propositions for eliminating this fallacy. The first is simple enough. If a referee makes a game changing error in judgement in the final two minutes of regular play that decisively causes a victory, or commits a net total of five obvious errors favoring one team over the course of the game, the game is replayed, and the referee is replaced. Stay with me, because the second idea is a lot more exciting.

All that needs be said, is robot referees. Its only logical. Most of the jobs in the past decade have been replaced by them. I can't remember the last time a real person gave me my bank account balance, which is nice because its humiliating, and cars have had a more solid, streamlined feel ever since the robotic assembly line. (Some of them can even accelerate on their own!) The adult entertainment industry is also taking advantage of a robot's emotional/religious indifference to various sex acts, not that I would have any experience in that matter of course.

Sensors are now small enough now that they could easily be placed in a players equipment and balls (the ones used for sports, what are you, like twelve?) making it certain exactly what's happening on the field. Human referees will still play a role in verifying more subjective things such as flagrant fouls, flops, and whether or not Ron Artest is about to commit aggravated assault again. Their secondary purpose will be to make sure that the robots don't become self aware, enslave the human race, and ultimately kill us all. God, I am so funny, no one has ever made a Terminator reference when talking about robots before.

Id just like to say "you're welcome" in advance to the NFL, MLB, NBA, NHL, the Olympics, and FIFA. To the WNBA all I can say to you is "referees were definitely not you're biggest problem."