My Life is Now Meaningless

Today is the worst day of my life. After trying for weeks to play my favorite internet flash based game, Flash Flash Revolution, I learned today that the site is down and will most likely never return. I understand that not everyone who reads this site is as cool as I am and doesn't know what FFR is, so here is my detailed, in depth explanation of what it is.

Its Dance Dance Revolution you play on your computer with the arrow keys.

And it was the best mother fucking thing ever invented. This game brought me more hours of entertainment than any movie, sport, t.v. show, or social interaction combined. The false sense of achievement is a drug far more addictive than even Farmville, and the repetitive act of furiously mashing my fingers on the keys trying to keep up with the fast paced techno music got me through countless periods of class in what the government called my "education". Tragically the brilliant people behind this website decided to remove their website from the web, causing the internet to now be virtually useless to me except as a public forum to tell people about why I don't like things.

I'm not 100% sure on the details, but I'm pretty sure that the only reason this website was taken down is because the site owners are sick, sadistic psychopaths who had a diabolical agenda of creating something that millions of people would love and adore, only to arbitrarily take it away from us, leaving us in a state of persistent turmoil that we would never fully recover from. The beverage industry did this to us with Surge and Sprite Remix, McDonalds has done this numerous times with the McRib, and age did this to us by turning Pamela Anderson into a hideous, leather faced husk of a person.

I cannot stand idly by while this website continues to not exist, so I have no choice but to pledge my suicide if this website is not placed back on the internet by May 15 of 2010. The sad thing is that the villains behind these recent events in all likelihood want me to commit suicide, that being part of their original intent from the start. If the owner of FFR feels that I am bluffing, all i have to say is "try me". This deadline also applies to Sprite Remix, Surge, the McRib, and Pamela Anderson reversing her age.

1 comment:

  1. I really miss surge, More than my ex girlfriend who gave the best blowjobs ever.