The Solution to Global Warming

I have figured out the only two possible solutions to global warming that will completely eliminate the effect we have on the Earth's climate. It is despicable to think that we humans could keep destroying this precious world by contributing to 5% of a "green house gas" that accounts for .025% of the Earth's atmosphere. I am speaking of course, about Carbon Dioxide!!1! And so here are my two proposals.

  1. Proposal 1: We completely abandon all the technological progress we've made as humans and revert back to the days of horse-based travel and candle based lighting. We all know that solar and wind power don't account for jack shit of our power needs, and that hybrid cars, even though they use less gas, still emit carbon dioxide, there for hybrids have solved absolutely nothing at all.
  2. Proposal 2: We all kill ourselves. Kind of hard to for us to pollute if we're all dead. Think about it, it makes perfect sense!
For those of you who have absolutely no ability to detect sarcasm, I am not a fan of this whole global warming movement. Even if it were real, which all true scientific evidence says it isn't, it would be thousands of years before we were truly effected. And even if it were true and global warming were able to have harmful effects by the next generation, guess what Bob Dylan, I don't plan on ever having kids! Put that in your bong and smoke it.

If you believe humans are responsible for climate change, and we should pay ludicrous carbon taxes to prevent this problem, you are wrong. You are as wrong as the Iranians who deny the holocaust, and you are as wrong as Charlie Sheen for thinking 9/11 was a government conspiracy. (I still love Platoon and Two and a Half Men though) Feel free to try to convince me otherwise, I always enjoy a good laugh.


  1. totally agree, sick of global warming, sick of hype...whether its h1n1 or global warming, or man bear pig...if they can keep us afraid they can keep us controlled.

  2. "if they can keep us afraid they can keep us controlled" I don't think there's a better way to put that, awesome.