Enlightment: A Practical Guide; Pt. 1

Part 1: Breaking the Veil

Hello, and congratulations on stumbling upon this brilliant guide to quick and ever lasting enlightenment, inner peace, and an overall sense of well being. I was like you once; an insignificant shell of a person living on the margins of society. No idea who I was, no one else knowing who I was. Things were not going particularly well. Then one day, out of no where, I broke the veil and became enlightened.

What is breaking the veil you ask? Breaking the veil is that initial moment where you realize that nothing you or anyone else does in life matters, and the resulting bliss is overwhelming. The experience can be likened to a child having his first conscious thought, or a person using cocaine for the first time.

In order to break the veil it is important to realize several key aspects of your life:

• The only reason you exist, is because your parents decided to have sex one day.
• There are six billion people in this world. The chances of you becoming someone important are slim to none.
• Even if you do become famous or important, you're just going to end up dead some day, relegated to nothing more than a memory in the minds of a slowly dying society.
• The universe abides by very specific laws and constants and nothing is in your control. Choices are an illusion created by the inherent unpredictability of nature.
• There is no meaning of life, and searching for one will make your life meaningless.
• There isn't a single negative emotion that can't be drowned in alcohol.

So now that you've read and understand what I call the 5 Fundamental Truths, you have broken the veil. Congratulations, you made that veil your bitch. What comes after breaking the veil you ask? Part II: Making as Many People as you can Feel the Same Pain you Feel. Coming soon.