Things Girls my Age Need to Stop Saying

There are a lot of phrases that have come to be in the past few years that I've heard girls say so many times that I want to drive a fork into my ear drum every time I hear them. These are sayings that reflect the very stupidity and shallowness of our civilization, and need to not be said ever again by anyone.

"I know, right?" One of the more recent annoying phrases to enter their vocabulary. When I hear this I think two things 1. This women agrees with what I am saying and is asking if I agree. 2. Why would she need to know if I agree with something I literally just stated.

"You would!" Yes, I know I would. That's why I did it. Although I am glad you are capable of recognizing an action that is completely in line with my character, keep it to yourself.

The Shortening of Certain Words Precious becomes "presh", hilarious becomes, "hilar", and me being attracted to you for your looks and personality is shortened to me being attracted to you for your looks. Just say the god damned word.

"Bomb!" (adjective) Whenever I hear this gem of American slang I wonder to myself if they've ever caused the threat level to be raised by saying "Oh my gah, that's so BOMB!" on a crowded air plane. Bomb is not an adjective, its a noun. And please explain to me how a bomb is associated with things you like? Bombs were invented to destroy things and kill people. What you are really saying is "I like this because it reminds me of something that explodes and kills people".

"Dank" (in reference to something other than marijuana potency) I can't think of a better way to make people think I smoke weed on a regular basis then by referring to everything I like as Dank. (When I'm not calling it bomb, of course). Any time you say something like, "Taco Bell is so dank!" what you are really saying is "Taco Bell has a high THC potency!" Which it doesn't.

I'm sure I could think of more but I think my points been made. If you're one of the many women who use these overused fads of language and are offended, then you probably shouldn't have read this.


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  2. Dank Alex, that was totally Hilar and so the bomb! Kidding. But seriously, I enjoyed reading. Funny stuff.

  3. "You would" rings the truest and most familiar with me. I had to keep myself from stabbing my Ex girlfriend to death while our conversation went as follows:
    "Watcha up to baby?"
    "Slicing some apples"
    "you would!, hahahaha!"
    It's worse when it's something that doesn't particularly pertain specifically to my character. In fact, I'm sure everbody slices some fucking apples sometimes. So sure, I would, she would, Valerie Poxleitner would, whats your point bitch? it's over. Oh, and she is a cheating skank who I hope will contract aids and die. So much for the last two years.