Thank's South Africa, for Ruining the World Cup

This year's World Cup will no doubt go down in history as the worst one ever played. The blame for this falls squarely on the shoulders of the South African fans, who for whatever reason insist on blowing the most annoying horn in the world, the vuvuzela, during every second of every match, even during the national anthems.

I wasn't a fan of soccer until only a year ago, being one of many who thought that only timid homosexuals liked soccer. I held theses unjustified and homophobic opinions until a friend introduced me to FIFA 2009 for the xbox and showed me a few English Premier League games. After only a few short weeks I changed my mind faster than O.J. Simpson when he was considering not murdering those people.

I could not have picked a better time to jump on this international bandwagon, as the World Cup in South Africa was only a year away. As the months flew by my skills at FIFA 2010 grew exponentially, to the point where I am now the 4,998th best player in the United States. (no big deal) The excitement I had was not containable when June 12th came around, and I would finally get to see England play the U.S.

You could imagine the disappointment I faced when I noticed that ABC was experiencing technical difficulties. I thought to myself, "does ABC realize that they're simultaneously broadcasting the audio of a cat being slowly lowered into a blender?" Minutes ticked by and upon seeing camera footage of the crowd I noticed that the audio was actually coming from plastic horns. Needless to say, this minor annoyance has completely ruined my World Cup experience and desire to watch. I could turn the volume down, but then how would the English Commentators keep me informed as to what was happening?

Holding the World Cup in South Africa was a huge mistake, and I sincerely hope that at least one of these fans who bring these horns choke on it and dies. This may sound racist at first, but I assure you that I would harbor the same resentment for any nation who's fans create such a repugnant acoustic environment during what is supposed to be the most important athletic event in the world.

1 comment:

  1. if a timid homosexual decided to play football, he would duly have his arse handed to him on a silver platter. i greatly dislike that stereotype. =]

    that being said. FIFA is a great game, and those horns do get frustrating, although i dont think they have the capacity to ruin a football world cup.