I'd Rather Play Russian Roulette than Chat Roulette

Up until Chatrt.com was added to the depraved cesspool that is the internet, I was proudly able to say that I had never viewed male solo pornography. This streak was swiftly put to an end the first time I used chat roulette. This is my cautionary tale of the dangers of chatroulette and what its true purpose really is.

Contrary to popular belief, Chatrt.com is not a place for people to video chat with arbitrary strangers all over the world, breaking down geographical and social barriers, enlightening the human race to the height of God. Nothing could be further from the truth. This website is a place to view streaming live video of men masturbating.

During my initial investigation of this site, I found that the odds of being paired with a man are about 1/6. It was the sixth person I had connected with. Now I've seen some crazy shit in my life. I forced myself to sit through the greater part of 2g1c, I've been pranked with meat spin more times than I can even count, and I even sat through an extended trailer of the movie precious, but seeing a low quality video of a man masturbating, knowing that it was happening at that very moment, even if just for half a second before I hit F9, was enough to make me want to pour rubbing alcohol into my eyes, and then remove them with a power drill.

Now, I'd like to take this paragraph to address the chatrt masturbaters;

Who do you think you are? Where do you get off? Do you really think that every random person you connect with is interested in seeing you doing that disgusting act? What is the sense of accomplishment here? "Oh sweet, some 17 year old girl saw my dick and went EWW!" I sincerely hope that everyone of you dies in a severe car accident, in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. That'll be all.