The End of Three Eras

The summer of 2009 was a time of frequent celebrity deaths, so it was only fitting that the following winter would be the death of two excellent T.V. shows and one terrible one. Lost, 24, and Law and Order were all shows that helped define and shape our generation and have provided us with a superficial interest through which to relate to one another. So here's some shit I wrote real quick about each of one.

24

Best show I've ever seen, been watching it for eight years, since season 1 when Terri was still alive. Think you're a 24 fan, jackass? You aren't, I am. Jack Bauer is the most capable fictional counter terrorist in the history of fiction, and if America had an agent half as capable as him, the War on Terror would have last two hours, with limited commercial interruption brought to you by the all new Ford F-150 extended cab. The Cold War actually started the day Jack Bauer was born; the U.S. had Jack Bauer, and all Russia had were nuclear weapons. Sadly the show had to come to a dramatic end, most likely because like O.J., Jack Bauer simply ran out of people to kill.

Law and Order

This show was cancelled after about 238 years for one reason and one reason only; you moronic C.S.I. fans. C.S.I. is a show set in a world where killers ejaculate at virtually every crime scene, and murders are not solved by hardboiled detectives who break the rules BUT GOD DAMN IT THEY GET RESULTS. On C.S.I., crimes are solved by frail, asthmatic nerds in lab coats who suddenly break into five minute techno lab montages where the music's all like UNCE UNCE UNCE UNCE UNCE as they fucking look at dust particles or semen under a microscope and shit. Seriously, this show has more semen than a Bukkake porn, not that I've ever watched one. Law and Order is a far superior show, but because you would rather watch grainy, shaky cam flash backs, and the intricate inner workings of a person's blood vessels as they are stabbed to death in slow motion, one of television's best shows was cancelled. So fuck you, douche.

Lost

Oh my god don't even fucking get me started on this stupid fucking show... I'm already angry enough as it is thinking about L&O and 24 getting cancelled because you'd rather watch semen based crime dramas and "reality" shows, so I think this show needs its own blog, and I'm going to tear those writers several new ones. Expect it like, whenever. And don't worry, I'll make at all articulate this time like I usually do. You know, with like college words and shit.